My Wishful thinking

I wish

             Whatever happened to the “So much of Life is LUCK”, I don’t know, But it,certainly did effect me somewhere. From past few years, that quote was so much ME, but everything happens for one good reason & it did for me. As I hear everyone getting a job, or getting married, or going abroad,or anything that I have not done, I couldn’t care less! Thought, Everything will happen Now or Then! But was it me or anything else, I had no idea, but Things changed, as in RAPID change & I had no time to bring myself together to see what happned actually! It all started when placements were happening around & like everyone else, even I was wishing my name was in every list that came, even though I had given my worst performance, I wished! Even though I knew, I couldn’t be more worse, I wished my name was there, in Big block letters, like everyone else.And in the worst case, I even Wished, When I had not even written test also. But as soon as the list came out, my tiny little bubble wrap of “wish my name was there too” Burst! But then again, I knew , Me, My name ,were Much-More deserving than many of those names  in that List,& My wish just went on.

    Like all, Like each-day, it was a “regular” day for me, since I had dreams that I will achieve everything in life, Step by Step, Unlike others, who just seem to have a Damn Good “LUCK” everyday, everywhere they go,in everything they do..It was all like a Dream for me, to be writing a test,in which I found how capable I am, & to be able to have a check on myself, It was that Test that made me realise, Not everything comes with Luck, & Not everything with Just Hard-Work.Sometimes It has to be Hard-Luck. A lil bit of everything, Untill you get a taste of all.

          Everyone seated in a room, waiting for their name to be called, eagerly, I was too, in the same state. Heart pounding faster, Shorter breaths, Nervous hand-shaking, legs Numb, like the whole world has stopped just to hear a name being called out. Again it was my  typical “Wish-My-Name-will-be-called” & some hopes, not knowing how everyone else has done,but knowing I had given my best shot and couldn’t be more proud of it.

     Some known names were called out, clapping hands, faces with happy smiles, some thanking god, some going “Yay,yes,Wohooo,Wow, and some with a Big sigh of Relief, I couldnt see more of that,& I couldn’t wait for my “Wish”, Last but not Least name was called  and i thought to myself, guess today isn’t my day, and was almost out of the place,mentally,preparing myself what I’d tell others,not knowing how to feel,But There it was, MY NAME, out of Nowhere,MY FULL NAME!!!!!!!!!!!! I could see some happy faces too,wishing me, congratulating me, and some with “Who-is-that-girl” faces too.I could be more happier than I was, but it was all sudden and even though my WISH had come true, I felt nothing after 2 min.There it was, end of a SUPER-day 1 ,telling us what to do for the next day, the D-Day! 

         Next day, the Usual, “Do- well -but -don’t- be- Nervous-Give -your- best ”  Wishes, from everyone, except that one person, my Sister! Some misunderstanding, some fight,& within seconds, things weren’t in place! 

           Entering that big room filled with hundreds of students all set to give their best shot, dressed in their best clothes,with all documents in hand, ready to break a leg, It was not Normal At all for me !! But still Things felt ,as if , were all planned ,& I was told to do So & So !! Was doing all better, untill my name was called Again. After all the waiting from 8:00am till 4.35pm, to be exact , I was relieved & all Fresh again, wanting to be ALIVE again, but yet the stress, tension, hearing what previous Q’s were being asked, I freaked out… !! !!