Four years Forever

It was all planned from the beginning. Joining a girls school for high school, like mum told, and I pretty much enjoyed the whole “ Girls Only”  campaign for 3 yrs :D , and then the Pre University came, which by luck or I dunno wat, also was the Girls-Only  part 2 series  ( Only, Continued for 2 more years) ! I used to wonder, what is with me, and Girls - ONLY school/college? I still don’t know! But those were some pretty awesome days of my life ! I irritated a few, I got irritated by few girls, :D So, it was all good ! Then came the big day ! My day to choose my future college where I was gonna spend 4 years of studies ( Again)!  I was really hoping there was no “Girls only”  college again, mainly because I  was almost feeling like , all I saw every day and night was just girls, everywhere ! :D  So, that’s that.  And the big day came, I chose this college, and I told my dad : it’s a Co-ed , but I just hope in future, u don’t tell me to join any Girls- Only  ANYTHING :D .. yeah, that was not funny, but it was, when I told him :P )

Four years later, to this very date,& exactly to this time, I still remember my first day in that classroom filled with wanna-be Engineers, Some cartoon looking faces, some really cute ones, some nerdy ones, & some “I don’t care who U r” faces , oh and also, for me, some “ I-cud-just-see-ur-face-all-day”  kinda faces  ;) ! yes, there were few, 4 or 5 :D [Names not be mentioned,Privacy, u see :D ] . Like always, followed by my mum and dad, I stepped outta car, and I see this huge gate[Not sooooo huge! ] , & a guard standing there. I could tell he was cute, cute li’l mustache he had, and a “real/fake” gun in hand :D I felt very protected for a second there . Went for admission and our beeee-Loved Princi tells my father all these fancy things about the college, & dad gets so impressed , he tells PrinChi , I think we have done a very good job, by admitting our girl to ur college! And I was like  “ yeah, rite, will see about that” ! I had this strange feel in that room, like suffocation, EXACTLY , who gets that feel ? Then the SHOCK! I was outta my mind for a second and blank, and I hear this “ Fine, then.. U can enter the class after lunch break” ! I was NOT ready for that. And then I hear my mum telling me all these big words, Be carefull when among guys, don’t talk mch to them, be near girls-Only, Sigh.. I was just getting ready to enter my future 4 yrs journey, and the last thing I hear is this, Girls-ONLY ? :D  That’s that, and I am sent into this cute li’l corridor type, so calm and peaceful, boys and girls not to be seen wandering around corridor, lecturers really busy talking to each other. I couldn’t care less about them !

                Then, I enter this room, so much noise, and a big guy standing there, trying to teach or have fun with the students! Half of the students there were either busy talking to themselves or trying to know who entered the classroom, at this time [the time being, after lunch break got over]. So I say, Tata bye everything to mum dad [ yes, they came all the way, with me, thinking I will get scared of the new classroom] , and I could say, thy were pretty thrilled and happy for me,although  I could see few li’l tears down my mum’s eyes! I dunno if it was a happy one or the tear of “ Oh-my –child-is goin-to tlk-to-bwwooyyys” :D :D  . Its not like I hadn’t talked to any bwoy b4 but, this is different ! 

                I was not given a grand welcome, as I had imagined to get :D.  But the lecturer or so, I thought.. He introduced me to the crowd, and I was feeling like a celeb olrdy ;) . All were looking at me, like me a alien from outer space, or some weird 3 or 5 legged animal. It was not a happy feeling for me then ! But then there were some happy faces watching me. Then, I was told to introduce myself, I went on and on, like non-stop and told I learn music, and I practice, & then I hear the first voice, coming from back bench, “Heeeyy sin, even I learn, yo..cool “ and I was like, STAY AWAY FROM ME, I’m a good girl :D [atleast that’s what I thought in my mind, about her] . She looked weird from far, funky clothes, hair let down, stylish pose :P, it was  fancy all in all :D! Then, Hell ! I was told to introduce myself, to everyone, Individually, hand shake, hi my name is, I came from ..all that stuff! Now , that’s RAGGING, right ??? ! :D

                I started with that, & a girl gave me a chocolate, Eclairs, as I remember & told me, U’ll do well & I thought to myself, “wow, now that’s a start” ;). Then I went on and on, with the choco in hand, although some bwwooyss even askd ,” Eh, is that fr me ;) ;)” *typical* I thought! & some went on to say, “U know , I feel like we have met before, u have a very familiar face”, and I thought  , now who wud hav seen my music video’s ;) ? :D hahahaha , Silly.. I know .

                Started introducing myself to this guy, and It was like a worst embarrassment ever! :D conversation went like this

Me : Hi,I am Sindhu, J

Him : Blab la la la la la J

Me : All I heard was, U have a pretty face :P {Even thought he hadn’t said that, I assumed. & I ignored to read  his lips, what actually he told  which was only this – Hi, My name is this .. ) and I ended up yelling

“ Hey, I’m really sorry, I really don’t know ur name, so u can tell now ALRIGHT?”  :D

Him : I said my name is this.. :P

Me: Oh I’m sorry :D

And there  goes my  happy face, :P, and I couldn’t care less again :D . That’s that !

I do remember these times every now and then . and it was a really funny first day I could have !

Four years finished with the cartoon faced ppl, weird ones, again few hated me, few liked me :D , oh the “I cud see ur face all day” kinda faces..  It narrowed down to ONE :D  & its here to STAY J  and happily living my life with some really good friends, some closed ones  & yes, I’m still friends with the funny talk girl, the Yo..Coool girl :D & she’s not bad as I thought the first time!

My Wishful thinking

I wish

             Whatever happened to the “So much of Life is LUCK”, I don’t know, But it,certainly did effect me somewhere. From past few years, that quote was so much ME, but everything happens for one good reason & it did for me. As I hear everyone getting a job, or getting married, or going abroad,or anything that I have not done, I couldn’t care less! Thought, Everything will happen Now or Then! But was it me or anything else, I had no idea, but Things changed, as in RAPID change & I had no time to bring myself together to see what happned actually! It all started when placements were happening around & like everyone else, even I was wishing my name was in every list that came, even though I had given my worst performance, I wished! Even though I knew, I couldn’t be more worse, I wished my name was there, in Big block letters, like everyone else.And in the worst case, I even Wished, When I had not even written test also. But as soon as the list came out, my tiny little bubble wrap of “wish my name was there too” Burst! But then again, I knew , Me, My name ,were Much-More deserving than many of those names  in that List,& My wish just went on.

    Like all, Like each-day, it was a “regular” day for me, since I had dreams that I will achieve everything in life, Step by Step, Unlike others, who just seem to have a Damn Good “LUCK” everyday, everywhere they go,in everything they do..It was all like a Dream for me, to be writing a test,in which I found how capable I am, & to be able to have a check on myself, It was that Test that made me realise, Not everything comes with Luck, & Not everything with Just Hard-Work.Sometimes It has to be Hard-Luck. A lil bit of everything, Untill you get a taste of all.

          Everyone seated in a room, waiting for their name to be called, eagerly, I was too, in the same state. Heart pounding faster, Shorter breaths, Nervous hand-shaking, legs Numb, like the whole world has stopped just to hear a name being called out. Again it was my  typical “Wish-My-Name-will-be-called” & some hopes, not knowing how everyone else has done,but knowing I had given my best shot and couldn’t be more proud of it.

     Some known names were called out, clapping hands, faces with happy smiles, some thanking god, some going “Yay,yes,Wohooo,Wow, and some with a Big sigh of Relief, I couldnt see more of that,& I couldn’t wait for my “Wish”, Last but not Least name was called  and i thought to myself, guess today isn’t my day, and was almost out of the place,mentally,preparing myself what I’d tell others,not knowing how to feel,But There it was, MY NAME, out of Nowhere,MY FULL NAME!!!!!!!!!!!! I could see some happy faces too,wishing me, congratulating me, and some with “Who-is-that-girl” faces too.I could be more happier than I was, but it was all sudden and even though my WISH had come true, I felt nothing after 2 min.There it was, end of a SUPER-day 1 ,telling us what to do for the next day, the D-Day! 

         Next day, the Usual, “Do- well -but -don’t- be- Nervous-Give -your- best ”  Wishes, from everyone, except that one person, my Sister! Some misunderstanding, some fight,& within seconds, things weren’t in place! 

           Entering that big room filled with hundreds of students all set to give their best shot, dressed in their best clothes,with all documents in hand, ready to break a leg, It was not Normal At all for me !! But still Things felt ,as if , were all planned ,& I was told to do So & So !! Was doing all better, untill my name was called Again. After all the waiting from 8:00am till 4.35pm, to be exact , I was relieved & all Fresh again, wanting to be ALIVE again, but yet the stress, tension, hearing what previous Q’s were being asked, I freaked out… !! !! 

More than Nothing :)

For those who are not planning on reading this, Don't worry, U're not missing out on anything VERY IMPORTANT ! But, If there is ANYONE reading this, (Highly doubt).. So.. //No comments// 


So finally my mind has taken a decision, rather I choose this. I'm going to start my CLICK AWAY project ! Nothing Brand new about it, nothing interesting, nothing Excitin, neither will it take me anywhere, NOW, so its just me hoping to get something to keep me busy, while I think what else can be done with this "LIFE" ..So basically its nothing! ! but  definatetly, something that will make me happy ! Every day I will do ONE-CLICK ..that will be posted in my future facebook-page, which I'm planning to start, real soon ! This is, again an inspiration, but such an inspiration that it will keep me focused on this, for sure !! 


Well ,lets see where ths gets me Gooooiiinn' ! ! 

Clueless

Whenever I think of writing a blog or even just write anything, all I can think of is this female. Julie Powell Once said "Sometimes, I can't help but wonder, is there anyone out there reading me? But I'm sure you are, aren't you? Somebody? Anybody? " .
So tat is exactly wht I'm feeling right nw. I'll probably keep writin even if thr r no comments, nolikes, & nt even a single person knows abt ths silly blog. Perhaps the first & the only thing that i'm very care-free about. It has so happened that I've alwys wanted a RESPONSE, to everything Isay, to every joke i tell, to every single word I say, I wantd a REPLY and sadly I always want to b the person who ends the CONVERSATION, or like some1 always said abt me "U alwys hav to end the talk, don't u?" Maybe, I do. I always thought that was the Human nature. 
So, this Julie female, of this wonderful movie called Julie & Julia. The movie that has made me fall in love with blogs,cooking, poached egg, learning french, understanding someone how they get annoyed and irritated and frustrated and still wanting be with you, because they want to, and support you all along. I know this is probably too much or very dramatic but I think I can do something that is not ME whch i don't do, usually! I've thought of it, bt thinking has become a very lazy part of me tat never works! I've seen quite a few blogs & bloggers arnd,& tht st does the inspiring part & yet I need help ! Yes, I do ! Hlp to knw what is actually going on, evrywhere!
Why is there something called mixed emotions, why can'teverything be hw I want it to be ,or why wnt everything just fall where they should ! Too much ? Well, this is just the beginning. I'm clueless as I write this "BLOG".

Its a beautiful Evening, listening to To the Sky - Owl City, some hundred+ songs on the playlist, waiting to be played and I cant wait to listen to all, and just be happy all over again. It seems like music is the only thing that is good enough for me. 

As I think, what to fill in this BLOG, I'm clueless, but ths is one thing that I'v decided to finish, if nt other things that i'm always hoping to finish! It is nvr the end for what I think. Makes me wonder, do all think and just let go of it ? Inspirational talk does work, well only for that particular moment, everything else just flies above my head! Trust me! 

This is the bad part. I keep talking one thing and I just take a Wrong-turn & talk entirely different things, it all changes in a matter of seconds. At home, there is every1 who keeps correcting me, or reminding me, what I have been talking earlier. So, yes .. This is Exciting, writing my first blog, I started off by writing about that person I care about too much, Anjali- It was like a dedication to her, then a few blogs, which Only I ended up reading ;) ! 

 

Two full months of vacationing & still many more months to come, no clue wht I'll end up doin or is it gonna be like those old days, watch TV, Fb, some nice movie,meet up some friends, & tat's the end of holidays! Fr once, its more than 2-months & good opportunity for me to do something different, and something tht I've been wanting to do, frm the longest time. The only problm being, I'm Clueless ! I don't think, there is any worse situation than this. My sis says "Follow ur Passion", Oh that's just one option ! I could even kill myself ! 

As I write this Silly-Blog, there are some friends of mine, who are busy Working, yes..I'm

Jobles as of nw, evn tho my name was clearly written in BIG BOLD letters on the banner near college gate..after I got job in a good-company !

"Sindhu - Placed in XYZ company ( Company name changed, since it is giving me full sad -ness and hasn't yet given me my joining letter ) " .

How cool is that ;) ?

inside my Mind..

I really Wish i knew how exactly i came across this, but i guess with my "search-for-the-song-with-the-help-of-recordings-from-mp3" helped me,& I am happy with what i'm writing. Since 2 days I am listening to this & i Just cant stop playing it again & again. I have already listened to this 100 times & more 100's to go.. I know! ! ! 

I lie awake at night 
See things in black and white
I’ve only got you inside my mind
You know you have made me blind

I lie awake and pray
That you will look my way
I have all this longing in my heart
I knew it right from the start

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay
right beside you

I used to write your name
And put it in a frame
And sometime I think I hear you call
Right from my bedroom wall
You stay a little while
And touch me with your smile
And what can I say to make you mine
To reach out for you in time

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you….
……Say you love me too....
…oh my pretty preety boy I do…..right beside me…….